My Maid of Honor and beautiful straight sister wrote this guest post for us. Her experience planning my bachelorette party gave her some tips to share for other gay wedding party participants. Thanks, Sis!
So you want to host a bachelorette party for a lesbian friend getting married? Ok, the straight talk is this: it’s no different than having one for a straight friend. Like with any wedding event, this should be a personal touch that clearly represents both the bride and TomBride™. In fact, it should represent the couple as a whole.
I know, I know. You’ve seen Bridezilla and just know your friend will want to hit up a strip club or flail drunkenly through the town in a veil and wedding dress only to look at pictures the next morning and have no memory of the evening. Well, I can tell you that most solid couples (gay or straight) that have actually taken the time to comprehend the sanctity of marriage will probably want a bachelorette party that is kindred to the respect she shows her fiancée. Here are some tips from a girl that just lived it:
Here are a few ideas to get you started, but again, tailor it to your bride or TomBride™.
Theme/Decorations:
There’s only one rule of thumb for decorating a lesbian’s bachelorette party: no penises please. No matter how Tom your TomBride™ is, it’s just not a good look.
Guest List:
You should feel free to invite those friends closest to the Bride/TomBride™. As straight parties go, women at a man’s bachelor party are a cultural “no-no.” For those of the lesbian persuasion it tends to be a bit more open. For my sister’s TomBride™ bachelorette party, I invited everyone that was in the wedding party, plus a few extra folks from both genders whom I knew she would want to spend her special farewell to singledom with. I recommend asking your TomBride™ or Bride for a general idea who they want to attend. They may know their friends better than you and could help you avoid an awkward situation.
Games:
The games you choose should suit the theme and personality of the party. I had a few games on hand for filler if needed, but it ended up being a bunch of friends who hadn’t seen each other in a while and the party flowed on its own. Don’t force games on a group that seems comfy without.
General Resources:
I know you’ve known your loved one forever and think you know all about them. But, do you know how you can offer your support outside the wedding venue? Here are some resources that answer some frequently asked questions and provide additional support and information for those interested.
Parents, Families & Friends of Lesbians & Gays (PFLAG)’s family and friends page.
The Rainbow Wedding Network is a general guide for the happy couple with a touch of advice and a vendor search by location for the rest of us.
TwoBrides.com is a resource, again, for lesbian couples planning to wed, but have some cute ideas and articles for those of us in need of general information or a cute gift for the happy couple.
Salute and happy planning!
Tags: bachelorette party, both genders, couples, gay, lesbian, lesbians, maid of honor, marriage, personal touch, planning, straight talk, theme decorations, wedding event, wedding party, Wedding Resources, weddings
Have your cake and eat it kind of a dillema. What should today’s brides do? Have a expensive reception or save for a home? I would choose the second without a doubt
That’s a tough question. I have to say we are fans of Suze Orman and try to follow a bit of what she says. We try to have an emergency fund, saved as much as we could for a down-payment for our house and try not to use our credit cards if we can’t afford something. That said, having a large traditional wedding was important to us. Not only because it’s who we are as a couple, but because most of our guests had never been to a same-sex wedding before and we wanted everyone to feel as comfortable and homey as possible. Treating our wedding in this way made a huge, positive impact on our guests, the vendors we used and everyone we show pictures to, and we had a blast ourselves because it’s what we wanted. So, we spent some money on our wedding, but it was within what we could afford still and we continued to rent and save money for a house after the wedding. It’s very situational and you kind of have to go with your gut.